Updated: Mar 26
I recently read Michelle Obama's novel 'Becoming' and what a lovely read it was, with an insight into her life as a child, mother and the wife of the first black President of the USA. I'd highly recommend it. One element towards the end of the book focused on Trump (I liken him to Marmite, I love marmite - I cannot say the same about him!).
Recent news of the death of Sarah Everard and Michelle Obama's insight into the way women are treat made me revisit my personal feelings and experiences, so much so I was going to post about it on my Social Media feed however, I was also concerned about how controversial it may be, others too commented that might be the case! So I held back until a friend suggested I blog about it, so here goes, sorry not sorry!
I'm not a feminist, I like having a door held open for me, or my husband walking on the outside of the pavement to protect me, but ultimately what I appreciate is the respect he shows me. His respect isn't only for me, it's for all of the other women he knows.
It's something we have for each other, is that because we've been brought up this way? Possibly so!
When I was training to be a Reflexologist my original plan was to be a mobile therapist, helping those who couldn't leave their homes. Single parents with little ones when they were tucked up in bed and their parent had some time for themselves, to help the ill and the elderly who were restricted in what they could do and where they could go. Then we discussed personal security, with guidance advising us to let someone know where we were at all times, having a text message to hand just in case!! It was even suggested that we have a friend or partner waiting outside in the car! The more I thought about it the less I wanted to be mobile, so I took the safer option and moved into premises.
As a new business owner, I used the Groupon route and sold many a voucher to men, again I had to think about my safety. I wouldn't work late on an evening because fellow therapists would have already left for the night. I always ensured I was nearest the door (for a quick exit, should I need one) and I'd always tell my husband if I had a male client booked that day. Such a shame because actually there were very, very few that I felt uncomfortable with but I had to think ahead, I had to ensure I was safe. After a few months, I began to receive texts asking Do you do a happy ending? Extras? Anything not listed on the website?
And more recently during Covid, there has been a significant increase in male Instagram followers, which is ok in itself, but when you begin to receive private messages - not requesting an appointment - it's not okay! This is discussed quite frequently amongst female business colleagues, it occurs in creative industries such as my friend Aimee @Corsetry & Couture, others simply because they are female-led, but they too receive unwanted attention. Because of this I now only promote my holistic services for women, it saddens me because I know men struggle with stress, anxiety, tension, ill health, insomnia, headaches, and infertility, just as we women do! So, the minority of males (who don't know how to behave around women, who have a lack of respect) spoil it for the majority. However, if you have a son, partner, husband, father, or brother who does struggle with their wellbeing they are welcome. They will have to be referred by you (if you're already a client) and that's the very best I can do because I have to know I'm safe.